Who needs a Flat Point™ sharpener?

It looks like I do. At first it’s novel, then it’s almost useful, because the sheer novelty of it all sends my brain scrambling to find justifications for owning one.

The Flat Point™ sharpener
The Flat Point™ sharpener

The sharpener comes with a Flat Sketching™ pencil.

The Flat Sketching™ pencil
The Flat Sketching™ pencil

The instructions do not in any way capture how fun This Object™ is.

How to use the Flat Point™ sharpener
How to use the Flat Point™ sharpener

After a few side-to-side slides, the taper becomes obvious.

Gratuitous insertion shot
Gratuitous insertion shot

Even the shavings look different.

Flat Point™ shavings
Flat Point™ shavings

So, after several side-to-side semi-wiggles, this is what the pencil looked like:

Not a Flat Point™ just yet
Not a Flat Point™ just yet

More vigorous side-to-side action finally revealed the graphite.

Flat Point™ graphite
Flat Point™ graphite

Then it was time to shave off the sides.

The other side of the Flat Point™ sharpener
The other side of the Flat Point™ sharpener

Almost there.

This is a lot of effort just to get a Flat Point™ on a pencil
This is a lot of effort just to get a Flat Point™ on a pencil

And finally, it was done.

That looks flat to me
That looks flat to me

The packaging says “use for drawing and sketching, broad strokes and coverage, and calligraphy practice.” Guess which one I chose.

Flat Point™ calligraphy
Flat Point™ calligraphy

My Amusement™ knows no bounds.

I enjoyed this sharpener very much, including its manufacturer’s extreme dedication to the ™ symbol.